FRANCIS: We're
gettin' in through the underground heating system here, up through into the
main audience chamber here, and Skys Subscriber Centre is here. Having
grabbed our files, we inform Sky that their records are in our custody and
forthwith issue our demands. Any questions? |
|
COMMANDO XERXES:
What exactly are the demands? |
|
REG: We're giving
Sky two days to dismantle the entire apparatus of the Capitalist Imperialist
State, and if they don't agree immediately, we terminate our
contracts
|
|
MATTHIAS: Cut
their easy money off? |
|
FRANCIS: Cut all
their bits off. Send 'em back our digiboxes on the hour every hour. Show them
we're not to be trifled with. |
|
REG: Also we're
demanding a ten pound customer refund for every month weve suffered this
terrible "money for old rope" charge.. |
|
 |
|
P.F.J.:
laughing |
|
LORETTA: What?
They'll never agree to that, Reg. |
|
REG: That's just
a bar... a bargaining counter. And of course, we point out that they bear full
responsibility when we throw our Sky+ boxes out of the window, and that we
shall not submit to blackmail! |
|
 |
|
COMMANDOS: No
blackmail! |
|
REG: They've bled
us white, the bastards. They've taken everything we had, and not just from us,
from our fathers, and from our fathers' fathers. |
|
LORETTA: And from
our fathers' fathers' fathers. |
|
REG: Yeah.
|
|
LORETTA: And from
our fathers' fathers' fathers' fathers. |
|
REG: Yeah. All
right, Stan. Don't labour the point. And what have they ever given us in return
for our £10 a month?! |
|
XERXES: The
affordable PTR |
|
REG: What?
|
|
XERXES: The
Personal Television Recorder |
|
REG: Oh. Yeah,
yeah. They did give us that. Uh, that's true. Yeah. |
|
COMMANDO #3: And
the Recording of two programmes on different channels at the same time
|
|
LORETTA: Oh,
yeah, the Recording of two programmes on different channels at the same time,
Reg. Remember what the evenings used to be like? |
|
REG: Yeah. All
right. I'll grant you the affordable Personal Televison Recorder and the Dual
Recording are two things that the Sky+ £10 charge has done. |
|
MATTHIAS: And the
ability to watch recorded programmes while recording two
programmes
|
|
REG: Well, yeah.
Obviously the ability to watch stuff already recorded, I mean, the watching
recordings things go without saying, don't they? But apart from the affordable
Personal Television Recorder, Dual Recordings , & the ability to watch
recorded programmes while recording two programmes
|
|
COMMANDO: Set up
repeat recordings for when theres no Series Links |
|
XERXES: 30 speed
reverse and fast forward |
|
COMMANDOS: Huh?
Heh? Huh... |
|
COMMANDO #2:
Record radio programmes |
|
COMMANDOS: Ohh...
|
|
REG: Yeah, yeah.
All right. Fair enough. |
|
COMMANDO #1: And
the software updates |
|
COMMANDOS: Oh,
yes. Yeah... |
|
FRANCIS: Yeah.
Yeah, that's something we'd really miss, Reg, if the Sky folk left. Huh.
|
|
COMMANDO: Public
commitment to ongoing product development of Sky+. |
|
LORETTA: And it's
safe to walk in the streets at night now, Reg. Knowing that Sky+ is improving
all the time and happily recording all your stuff at home |
|
FRANCIS: Yeah,
they certainly know how to keep order. Let's face it. They're the only ones who
could in a place like this. |
|
COMMANDOS: Hehh,
heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh. |
|
REG: All right,
but apart from the affordable Personal Television Recorder, Recording two
programmes on different channels at the same time, the ability to watch
recorded programmes while recording two programmes, Setting up repeat
recordings for when theres no Series Links, 30 speed reverse and fast
forward, Recording radio programmes, Software Updates and a Public commitment
to ongoing product development of Sky+, what has the Sky £10 charge ever
done for us? |
|
XERXES: Brought
peace. |
|
 |
|
REG: Oh. Peace?
Shut up! |
|
------
THE END ------ |
|
And of course they were
right. Who in their right minds would want to pay £10 for ever more? Who
would sign up for an everlasting commitment whether the service was good, bad
or indifferent? Who would choose to fill the coffers of BskyB and make them
rich? |
|
That will be Sky+
subscribers then. |
|
|
|
In an ideal world, the
£10 monthly charges we incur would either be: |
|
*
non-existent |
|
* payments for a
set period of time |
|
* or a lifetime
subscription to cover Skys costs |
|
But of course, this
isnt Utopia and we are paying £10 every month for as long as we
want the Sky+ service. But what exactly is the Sky+ service?
|
|
If we stopped paying
£10 a month would the hard disk fall out of the recorder, would series
links disappear? Would live pause not pause and would recordings fail to play?
Of course not. It could all still work for "free". But dont try it
because it doesnt. |
|
Because of course Sky
dont want you to use Sky+ for free so they have designed the system so
that if you decide to unsubscribe from the Sky+ service then the big silver
thing under your TV will become as about as much use as a knitted monkey.
|
|
So why have Sky taken
this single-minded approach to Sky+? The answer lies in the past and the
future. |
|
In the past, the biggest
question and complaint made to Sky was why cant we watch 1 Sky
channel whilst we record another on our VCR. Sky had no answer, there service
worked well but it was not equipped to do the thing that most subscribers
wanted it to do. |
|
Fast forward to Autumn
1998 and the Digibox the satellite receiver set top box that made
UKGold watchable. (remember the sparklies pre digital?) All this quality
picture but still no dual record / watch facility. So around the same time
developments were put in place to produce a system that met consumers
needs. |
|
Producing a twin tuner
receiver though simple produced some conundrums: 1) The LNB / dish
would need replaced 2) How do people select the channel to record? 3)
Where is the profit stream from this idea? |
|
When Sky looked at those
issues, they knew a subscription for any worthwhile amount wasnt going to
be possible, the costs of LNB replacement, engineer time wouldnt create
profit, and giving people fancy new EPG options to change one of the tuners
would be baffling to many folk, oh and theyd still need to find a
suitable video tape. |
|
No, what was needed was
a bold, futuristic, forward thinking, dynamic, flexible product that would
cement the foundation of the mid-long term future of BskyB.
|
|
Step forward the key
players: * Sky Digital the drivers of the whole Sky+
project * NDS provided "The Integrated Personal TV Solution"
called XTV which is an end-to-end content delivery, management, and protection
system. * Pace prototyped, built and tested the hardware,
* OpenTV provided the interactive solutions * and
NEC supplied hardware components |
|
The ideology behind the
product was most simple give the customer a device so powerful that they
will never give it up. The catch being of course that this power comes at a
price. |
|
* £300 for
a Sky+ box * £50 installation charge. *
£10 per month forever |
|
Everyone would agree
that these are not inconsiderable amounts of money for the consumer. However on
the reverse side - the costs associated with Sky+ are: |
|
* Initial
Research & Development - Hardware & software *
Manufacturing cost of the Sky+ system - the consumer price is less than the
cost to build a Sky+ system. * Ongoing Research &
Development for software updates. |
|
The actual cost to build
a Sky+ system is a closely guarded commercial secret, however, looking at the
launch date of the product and seeing how much a similar device would cost in
the US or Europe - you would not get change from £700 for a non
subscription hard disk video recorder with similar features.
|
|
So the question from
Sky's perspective must have been two fold? 1) How many people would
buy Sky+ at £700 per machine 2) How much revenue and profit
would Sky make from Sky+ at £700 per machine in a non-subscription
environment. |
|
Of course, as our
American friends might say "this is a no brainer". The answers to the questions
are simple |
|
1) Not many people would
fork out £700 for a Sky+ box with no tied subscription 2)
Revenue would be severely limited due to small uptake and profit potential
would be minimal. |
|
So what to do then with
"a killer application" that would become Sky+. And that's where the business
planning comes in. Call them what you like, the suits, the management, the
board
it all boils down to the same thing - business models and what the
market would bear. |
|
After careful
consideration and market testing one business model rose out of the primeval
Sky+ soup
and that was the £300 charge with £10 a month
subscription. |
|
The hardware cost is
largely academic - Sky has never made money on the hardware it supplies and was
not about to start now. A loss leader in selling the Sky+ box was not a concern
either way. Besides due to future large-scale production of the Sky+ box,
actual unit costs would reduce over time anyway. |
|
No the real eye opener
for Sky was the maths
. |
|
In this world of
"maximum revenue per subscriber" Sky knew they couldn't get much higher than
£35 per month. Rupert Murdoch himself was heard to remark exactly this
comment on the recent BBC4 programme that screened last month, "Inside the
Murdoch Dynasty". |
|
However given a "value
added service" like Sky+ and the revenue possibilities really begin to add
up: |
|
We shall take as
the base line figure 5 million direct to home subscribers each paying on
average £30 per month (estimated). Total revenue from Direct To
Home subscribers = £1.8 billion . |
|
With the value
added element of Sky+ the figures look like this: At year one 30000
Sky+ units sold, subscriber revenue of £10 per month generates £3.6
million At year three 500000 Sky+ units sold = £60 million
At year five with a push to get as many as half the subscribers converted
to Sky+ the additional revenue per year would = £300 million PER YEAR
! |
|
So going back to the
original point: Why is there a charge of £10 per month for
Sky+? There are "300 million" reasons why there is a charge!
|
|
Sky is a business and
businesses are out to maximise revenue growth and maximise profit.
Don't expect the £10 charge to disappear soon, or ever.
Do expect the relentless push to get Sky+ in as many homes
as possible. |
|
Sky are now paying Pace,
the manufacturers of Sky+ an unknown percentage of the £10 monthly fee
for a year (as reported here) and maybe they will do this again to continue
growth. Why pay full price for hardware upfront when the long-term gains to be
made from £10 per month are so fantastic? |
|
Remember the introduce a
friend to Sky scheme and Sky will pay you some money? Expect similar
schemes in the future for Sky+. Expect special promotional offers
£100 off Sky+ when you buy anything from an electrical retailer. (these
have already started) Expect Sky+ half price for a promotional period
only. And by Year 5 of the plan, expect that all new digiboxes will be
Sky+ !! |
|
After all if you're
willing to sell Sky+ in an electrical store for an effective £200 charge
- then giving it away free would only take 20 months to recoup before
subscriber revenue of £10 a month brought Sky back to profit.
|
|
And of course Sky will
be thinking long term. |
|
So is the future of Sky+
bright? You bet. Is the £10 charge here to stay? You bet
(though Sky may drop the £10 charge as a separate charge and introduce
packages like Sky+World for £45 per month, that loses that Sky+
standalone figure of £10 on your Sky statement but fully incorporates the
£10 charge into a newly named package) |
|
Will Sky look after the
golden goose that lays £300 million a year (in year 5)? You
bet. |
|
The revenue stream
demonstrated here is so compulsive and overwhelming in its ability to generate
revenue, and profit, that Sky+ will continue to break moulds and bring out new
improved software that meets its customers needs because Sky so badly needs
Sky+ to be a success. |
|
This is one golden
goose that will never stop laying eggs. |
|
If you're a Sky+
subscriber and you think that £10 a month is unfair, then you should take
on-board the points mentioned and if you still feel the same then consider
ending your subscription. |
|
But for the rest of us
the £10 charge will continue the improvement in the capabilities of Sky+
and should hopefully enable Sky to put some resources into serious Sky+
customer care, which is currently not very visible. Sky can afford to treat
Sky+ owners as VIPs - its one of the tasks of Plusworld to make sure that
they start doing so. |
|
If we dont feel
were being treated that way, its up to all of us to say
something. |
|
And heres a
message to all those malcontents out there unhappy at the £10 monthly
charge for Sky+
As Brian himself sang when he was being crucified :
"Always look on the bright side of life
.." |
|
Always look on the
bright side of life. |
|
[whistling] |
|
Always look on the light
side of life. |
|
[whistling] |
|
If a tenner a month
seems jolly rotten, |
|
There's something you've
forgotten, |
|
And that's to laugh and
smile and dance and sing. |
|
When you're feeling in
the dumps, |
|
Don't phone Sky you
silly chumps. |
|
Just purse your lips and
whistle. That's the thing. |
|
And... |
|
Always look on the
bright side of life. |
|
[whistling] |
|
Always look on the right
side of life, |
|
[whistling] |
|
For the charge is quite
absurd |
|
And Sky have got the
final word. |
|
You must always face the
curtain with a bow. |
|
Forget about their sin.
|
|
Give the audience a
grin. |
|
Enjoy it. It's your last
chance, anyhow. |
|
So,... |
|
Always look on the
bright side of death, |
|
[whistling] |
|
Just before you saw your
terminal wealth. |
|
[whistling] |
|
Ten pounds a piece
of shit, |
|
When you look at it.
|
|
Life's a laugh and
death's a joke. It's true. |
|
You'll see it's all a
show. |
|
Which youve
recorded before you go. |
|
Just remember that the
last laugh is on you. |
|
And... |
|
Always look on the
bright side of life. |
|
[whistling] |
|
Always look on the right
side of life. |
|
[whistling] |
|
Always look on the
bright side of life! |
|
[whistling] |
|
|
|
© (All original
sketches, pictures,and lyrics are the property of Python (Monty) Pictures,
Ltd., all rights reserved.) If you agree or disagree with this
article - we would like to hear what you think. Please click
here
to go to the relevent thread in the Digital Spy Sky+ Discussion Forum.
|
|
|
|